Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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