So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
