I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
