i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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