good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
