At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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