Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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