I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
My vagina just recognized that song.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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