I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
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I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
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He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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