I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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