Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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