The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize