Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
