my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
