He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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