so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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