Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
