Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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