Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize