Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
