garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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