Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
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The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
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ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
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