So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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