i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
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I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
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I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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