it was like his penis was on wheels.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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