I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
