she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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