yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize