i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
