I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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