reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
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I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
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Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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