I could make wine with my vomit
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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