i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Drunk is not a location!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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