So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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