in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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