Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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