My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I can't turn off my feet"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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