Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i can't believe i had my finger in that
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
