She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
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I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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