Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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