just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
