I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
