Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
