I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize