So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
