life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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