u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
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Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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