Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
