Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
