just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
this is an emotional support booty call
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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