Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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