is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
All the doctor said was why
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
