Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
There's always time for handjobs
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
