It's like God shit irony all over that family
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
