So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
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