I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize