If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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