I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
